My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me: Now What?
Have you ever been in a relationship that ended abruptly? It’s devastating when someone breaks up with you without an explanation or a hint that would prepare you psychologically. It’s better to break up after a fight because then you know the reason, and it’s easier to forge a way forward.
Some people are good at expressing themselves and will express their dissatisfaction before breaking up with you. Others will leave you to fill in the blanks yourself and especially men.
As you try to understand this strange turn of events, think of the reasons why someone would dump you without putting up a fight.
Why do guys suddenly break up with you?
The main reason is the loss of emotional connection
Love fades over time as you get used to the person who once made your heart race. One partner in a relationship may realize earlier that the two of you are not compatible and decide to end the relationship leaving the other hanging onto the love. Often these people are afraid of how you will react if they told you they no longer feel the connection between you two.
The other reason is being afraid of commitment
Have you ever wondered why people abandon their spouses at the altar after all the preparations to have a superb wedding? It is out of fear to commit themselves to a serious relationship. Some people are just out there to have fun and are not ready for all the responsibilities that might come along. You should find out your partner’s intentions with your relationship before you start taking it seriously.
They could also be in love with someone else
Being in love with someone else is also a good reason your boyfriend wants a breakup. To avoid all the confrontation that may follow once they let you know, some people opt to walk out of the relationship. There isn’t much to do when he leaves you for another woman other than accepting and allowing yourself to heal.
The other reason why guys leave a relationship abruptly is a lack of appreciation
Nobody ever wants to take the blame for a broken relationship, but you could be the reason why he wants to dump you. Here is the thing… men love to feel appreciated by the girl they love. They hate it when you keep complaining, asking some more of him, comparing him to other boyfriends you had in the past. If you are that type of girl, chances are, your man will get exhausted and walk out of the relationship.
However, whatever the reason is for someone breaking up with you, you have to find a way to rise and move on.
How Do You Move on After a Breakup?
- Embrace Your Sorrows
It is hard to accept that someone who had access to your whole life doesn’t want to be part of your life anymore. It hurts deeply, but it’s okay to let yourself feel the pain, cry if you can. Talk to a friend and let it out. Once you are done grieving, your mind and body get ready for the next chapter of your life.
- Cut Communication After a Breakup
Any drug addict will tell you that the hardest thing to do is give up on whatever they keep abusing. The same case applies to a relationship. It’s such an uphill task to let go of this person you are so used to. You are tempted to call them up or text them. The sad truth is, the more you try reaching out to them, the more they will try to push you away. And you also don’t want to seem desperate. Just don’t keep talking to them.
- Go Out More After a Breakup
Take advantage of the breakup. Now more than ever, you have a chance to go out and find somebody better. Reach out to your long-lost friends and family members. Attend as many social gatherings as you can. You may not realize it, but the more you are out there, the less time you have to think about the breakup and the faster you will heal. But don’t rush to get into another relationship.
- Better Yourself
Some people result in self-destruction after a breakup which only re-affirms to your ex that they did the right thing by breaking up with you. The best you can do is build on your weaknesses. Not for them, and not because you want them back, but because you need to rebuild your self-esteem. Start eating healthy, join your local gym, find a hobby or do business. Going extra keeps you distracted from thinking about your ex-lover, and it helps you focus on areas of your life that need improvement.
- Go for It When You Are Ready
After some time, you will find that you are no longer thinking about your ex. If you are the social and vibrant type, you will find other potential boyfriends easily. Don’t hang on to the past. Feel free to give yourself another chance but only when you are ready. But then again, you might be giving yourself a chance and not giving the other person a chance. After breaking up with a person, it’s possible to bar other potential lovers from getting closer to you. Understand that not everyone is out there to hurt you.
Some relationships are meant to shape your character. But then again, there are those that you might want to fight for.
How Do You Know If He Is Worth Fighting for?
Some relationships are worth keeping because they are special.
If you share a special bond with someone who makes you laugh and feel special, you should fight for them, especially if you broke up over minor disagreements.
If you have a person, you can talk freely and be yourself around them. If they are supportive of your dreams, you two share core values and spend valuable time together.
Such special people are rare to find. Think about the reason for your break up. If it’s not enough to let go, fight for your love.
Bottom-line
As much as you want a relationship that will last, appreciate that some relationships are meant to shape your character. You can never control other peoples’ emotions.
Guys may break up with you because they are emotionally detached from you or after falling in love with someone else. Others may be afraid to start a serious relationship with you. Some may feel that you don’t appreciate them enough and decide to break up with you.
Let yourself grieve after heartbreak. Don’t communicate with your ex-lover often or keep begging them to stay with you. Give yourself time to heal and meet new people. Work hard to improve on your weaknesses. When you feel ready, give love another chance.
If your partner was supportive of your dreams, he made you feel special, and you enjoyed each other’s company, re-evaluate the cause of your break up. If it is not reason enough to break up, fight for them.
If you have been dumped, try out these five strategies to begin your healing process.
